Happy Birthday, Eliot! (Kate Soles)

First smile, first stroller ride, first full night’s sleep. At times, my first two years as a parent have felt like one giant unfolding checklist, a multitude of milestones to witness, record on camera and post on Facebook.

As soon as Jean and I brought Eliot home from the hospital, we began to encourage his cognitive and physical development. We read him countless books, played with interactive toys and diligently counted his minutes of tummy time until he reached the daily recommendation. I never had a strict agenda by which to measure his advancement, never thought I would feel like a failure if he didn’t roll over my four months. As Eliot grew and thrived, I gained confidence that he would progress healthily at his own pace. I learned to ignore the sting of seemingly innocent questions from friends, acquaintances and even strangers: “has he taken his first steps yet? Uttered his first word? Waved his first bye-bye?”

Eliot has become an entirely different being from the infant I rocked in the halls of VGH two years ago. And, in many ways, I too feel like a different being; I have grown and changed because of what my son has taught me.

In parenthood, I have learned about patience, how to endure the things I cannot control and respond to mistakes with gentleness. I have learned about flexibility, how to adapt to life’s fluctuations and see opportunity in the unexpected. Most profoundly, I have learned about love, the irresistible affection for a tiny, helpless person. Such love has the power to heal, to foster self-improvement and to inspire kindness and commitment.

Happy Birthday, Eliot; you are more loved than you could possibly know.